I wish this was a joke but there’s actually proof that it’s not. Brooke Hogan’s music career, or lack thereof, didn’t even make a ripple in the US music scene but the blonde is still giving it a go by taking her stuff to the UK. Brooke is scheduled to open for UK super girl group Girls Aloud on Friday at London’s O2 Arena. I don’t get it. Girls Aloud is a huge band in the UK and in other places. They can pick almost anyone they want to open for them. Why the heck would they choose Brooke Hogan?! Whoever booked that gig for her better get shot.

As they say, all good things come to an end. A new report is saying that last Tuesday night’s American Idol only reeled in 21.25 million viewers. It may not sound bad but it’s not Idol best. Apparently, the show has not been that low since its second season in 2003. If you see the number of viewers for Tuesday night performance shows from January 15 up to last week, the numbers go up and down from 33.24 million to the disappointing 21.25 million. It has just not been their season. What is the deal? They need to shake things up for next season.

Amy Winehouse is facing further problems after her father-in-law was involved in a racing cycle crash.

Lance Fielder, 67 – father of Amy’s husband, Blake Fielder-Civil – is feared to be paralysed after suffering head and spinal injuries after going over the handlebars of his bike.

He was airlifted to Nottingham’s Queen’s Medical Centre after being discovered in a ditch hours after the crash, which happened during circuit training in Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire.

Lance’s wife Jane said: ‘It is very traumatic. ‘At the moment he’s paralysed but it is too early to say if he will be permanently paralysed.’

Amy and Blake – who is currently on remand in London’s Pentonville Prison – are said to be ‘deeply shocked and upset’ by the news.

The couple, who will have been married a year on May 18, are currently the subject of divorce rumours amid allegations that they have both been having affairs.

Amy has reportedly been seeing her manager’s assistant, Alex Haines, while Blake is said to be receiving prison visits from a mystery woman.

Reports are surfacing that Madonna is finally going to get full adoption rights to David Banda. The Queen of Pop has been caring for an 18-month interim custody order which was granted back in 2006. A leaked official document referring to Madonna and hubby Guy Ritchie says “Mr. and Mrs. Ritchie have shown a strong commitment in providing the infant with all essential needs like love, safe home environment, care, protection, material as well as emotional support.” The court will hear a full review of the case on May 15th but Madonna will not be required during the hearing. However, if the adoption is granted, she will have to come to court to sign the documents.

Geri Halliwell doesn’t care if her daughter becomes a “goth lesbian”.

How random! Personally I don’t think about my infant daughter becoming a lesbian; something to worry about in about 14 years time I would have thought? Anyway, I digress…

The single parent insists she will stand by her daughter - Bluebell Madonna, who turns two on May 14 - no matter what choices she makes in life.

She told a British radio station: “If she turns out to be a goth lesbian who works in dental surgery then that’s OK.”

Geri also says when Bluebell grows up she will pass on everything she has learned throughout her eventful life. The Spice Girls star added: “I’ll be absolutely honest with her and not judge her. But equally I’ll empower her with education and that’s all we can do. The more we censure somebody, the more they’re likely to act out. It’s about giving boundaries and we all need boundaries. After that I think she’ll be a smart enough girl to make her own choices.”

The supermodel - who is rumoured to be tying the knot with her rocker lover Jamie Hince in September - is keen for her nuptials to have a rocky edge and wants a dark-coloured wedding gown.

A source said: “Kate has asked a designer friend to come up with ideas for her dress. The full-skirted gown would be either in purple or black and have vintage rock ‘n’ roll charms as the trimming.”

It has previously been claimed Kate and Jamie have booked a former power station for their wedding reception. The couple have hired Wapping Food, also known as the Wapping Project, in East London, for the star-studded bash.

A source said: “They have booked the entire venue. It will be quite a party. The wedding will be quite intimate. This will be the big event for all their friends.”

Rihanna is featured on the June 2008 issue of Elle magazine where, in the accompanying interview, the singer opens up about her hair, her father’s alcoholism and rumored boyfriend Chris Brown. On her father, she said “That was way, way, way back. We’re friends now. Now my dad is like the coolest person on the planet. He doesn’t smother me. He lets me live my life…” She also may have dropped a hint about the nature of her relationship with Chris Brown saying “We’ve always been friends, but we’re very close now.” And just how close is that? I wish she would just come out and say it.

Can men and women be just friends? That’s hardly ever the case so when Ne-Yo and lead Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger are seen together, people can get to talking. The singers had a very high profile lunch together at The Ivy in Los Angeles on Tuesday. It may be a business date. Though I doubt it considering that Nicole’s solo album has been shelved and the Pussycat Dolls disc is coming out first now. They probably just wanted to pay big bucks for a meal together at one of the hottest spots in Hollywood. It’s the guaranteed way to get talked about.

It’s ironic that this is the first picture we get to see of Britney Spears reprising her role as Abby, a receptionist at a dermatologist’s office, on the hit CBS comedy ‘How I Met Your Mother’. Wasn’t Neil Patrick Harris the one who said that he’d rather not have her back? In a statement made on Monday Brit said “I had such a great experience the last time I was on the show that I couldn’t wait to come back. I was really looking forward to working with this cast and crew again. Everyone was so nice. Abby is going to have a lot of fun!” The episode featuring the recovering starlet entitled ‘Everything Must Go’ airs on Monday, May 12th.

As R Kelly’s child molestation trial continues, bad news becomes rampant. A new witness is set to come forward and provide some damning testimony against the singer as she claims to have had a threesome with the R&B star and the young teenager who was believed to be 13 or 14 when she was videotaped having sex with Kelly. Prosecutors claim that they have identified the girl in the tape who is now in her 20s. Kelly’s lawyers plan to argue but the new witness could undermine that since she is also set to identify the girl. In addition, the witness is also expected to say that the girl was underage at the time of their encounter.

I’m almost getting sick of writing about Miley Cyrus’s Vanity Fair scandal but what can I do? It just won’t die. The 15-year old is now being criticized for watching ‘Sex and the City’ as she proclaimed her love for it and even compared it to her own Disney show ‘Hannah Montana’ in the accompanying interview. She said “I love it! If you watch Sex and the City, like the way the friends are, the way that it’s dry and they all have distinct characters – that’s a thing we try to do on our show.” In order to salvage her clean image, a source most likely from Disney said “The show she watches is completely sanitized. She watches it on TBS. Miley’s mom doesn’t allow HBO in the house. They only have basic cable.”

Access Hollywood is reporting that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are in fact engaged. Speculation first came about when the diva was spotted sporting a huge rock on the red carpet premiere of her movie at the Tribeca Film Festival. The 38-year old singer and the 27-year old actor were then spotted in each other’s arms at the after-party. When Nick was asked at the party about what he loved about the curvaceous diva, his response was “Everything.” If this is really true, I say congratulations to the couple. This would be Mariah’s second marriage and Nick’s first but he was previously engaged to Victoria’s Secret Angel Selita Ebanks.

Amy Winehouse’s parents sure love to talk about their daughter’s love life. Wino’s dad Mitch commented on how he disapproved of his daughter’s cheating ways. Apparently, Wino is having an affair with her manager’s assistant Alex. Not to be outdone, Wino’s mom Janis has also shared her thoughts of Amy’s new love to the UK press. She says “He’s a lovely boy - gentle and sweet. He really looked after Amy popping out to buy cigarettes, papers, anything she wanted… He works for her manager so their relationship was professional to begin with but if they’ve made something of it, I’m thrilled.” Obviously, she wants Blake out of the picture.

American Idol has the extreme power of ruining the hopes and dreams of thousands of wannabe singers. But the show has also ruined something besides that – a fan’s dress. A 17-year old fan of the show got ticked off when a sticker they made her wear at an April 22 taping ruined her sequined dress. Said fan tried to take off the sticker to have Andrew Lloyd Webber sign it but the glue from the sticker wouldn’t come off the dress. She’s not planning to sue (she wouldn’t have a case either way) she just wants her dress fixed. She actually emailed the show but only got an automated response.

Cher has revealed she once enjoyed a passionate affair with Tom Cruise which lasted several months.

Speaking on Oprah, the veteran star confessed, “I was crazy about him.” And she said that Tom was a shy lad of just 23 and she was 39 when the fling began.

The couple are thought to have met at a White House fund-raising event, just after his film Risky Business proved a hit. “It could have been a great big romance because I was crazy for him,” the 61-year-old told hostess Oprah Winfrey.

And the audience whooped and cheered as she told of one “long night” they spent together.

“He was shy,” she said. “He said he felt like such a boob in school and nobody talked to him. We went on a date once for dinner in a New York restaurant and the waitress was from his old school. He told me she never talked to him back in school, but now he was recognised he got all her attention.”

It is thought that the affair ended when the Top Gun star met Mimi Rogers, who became his first wife in 1987.

Brooke Hogan and her 9-member TV show entourage had a hell of a time finding a place to film her so-called reality. The failed pop star was given her own reality show where Brooke takes America on her collegiate journey. Unfortunately for her, Florida universities just weren’t into having Brooke around. The University of South Florida, Florida State University and the University of Central Florida said no to her request to have a camera crew follow her around their campuses as the schools thought that her presence would disrupt normal activity. And of course, Brooke wanted to film during exam weeks. No one wants a stupid reality crew disrupt a big exam now, do they?

The Madonna and Mariah Carey battle has been going on for a while. Who will sell more albums? Who will break more records? Now, the question is whose film will be better? Both the divas have films screening at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival. Madonna’s ‘I Am Because We Are’ premiered on Thursday. Her film is a documentary focusing on the severe issues in Malawi in which Madonna was a writer, producer and narrator for. Mariah’s film ‘Tennessee’ will premiere on Saturday. Mariah acts in the film as a waitress with singing dreams to pursue in Tennessee. Considering that she’s acting in this one, I’ll give Madonna the award right now.

Producers and stars on the show ‘How I Met Your Mother’ may be keen on Britney Spears’ return to the show but the recovering starlet is turning all Marlon Brando on them. It’s being said that she’s not doing another episode until she approves of the script. Us is reporting that, according to a source, “Nothing is signed yet” and that Brit is still waiting for the right material. “No script has been written and until that is done, Britney will not be making a commitment. The offer is there but no decisions have been made at the moment.” Neil Patrick Harris can rest easy for now.